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Osiris Rising Blog: VoR & BEARDED CLAMS

By Brian Vorisek
February 11, 2005

In Osiris Rising news:

VoR has decidead to leave Osiris and join up with a russian power trip hop trio call'd the G-Nomes... It is comprised mainly of midgets, none in corsets, therefore making VoR the tallest midget in existence. For their stageshowe, VoR's drum solo will feature a midget lodged in his bass drum, to which the midget will have a mic for which to hum the melody of "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia" as VoR taps out the drumbeat to "Slave 4U" by Britney "midget*****" Spears... Bearded Clam

Osiris has announced that they will be replacing VoR with Papa Middy's as yet unborne childe, who, from the womb, has announced that they "Can kick VoR's ass across the Mason-Dixon Line on drums." Unconfirm'd accounts from the VoR camp have detail'd obliquely that "VoR's health is in decline due to overconsumption of bearded clams and pickle juice." A spokesman for Osiris has stated that "The condition for which he is in is in no waye the responsibility or result of any Voodoo dollery or Black Magiick from any single member of Osiris."

In unrelated news, a very "top heavy" female of undisclosed age has post'd a picture of herself on VoR's myspace profile, featuring the words Osiris on one breast and Rising on the other. Whether or not this is actually VoR's mother has yet to be ascertain'd, as it is a boobshot only. Also, VoR's band Vile Feast has hit the top of the charts todaye in Guyana with their splendiferous hit "Thoughts of a Brainless Man." And the Midgets rejoice...

-Vor

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